Wednesday, July 26, 2006

You're the Apple of my Eye!

This morning started off pretty badly with a doctors visit and some fairly scarey news. I dashed from the doctors appointment to drop Caleb off at his golf lesson. Dashed off to run some errands, and then it was time to schlepp (not sure if using this word correctly) out to the golf course to pick up Caleb again. Grab take out (I hate take out) for the little ones and decided to drop some lunch off to Steve (he works so hard and wanted to let him know I appreciated him) and then hurried to get kids home to eat their lunch before they devoured nasty takeout in "Black Beauty" (aka my surburban). My mind was pretty full of what had transpired at the doctors that morning and I was trying to remain positive and be cheerful for the kids sake (after all, it is their summer vacation and they seem to gauge their moods off mine). As I pulled up to the house, one of the kids told me that a package had been delivered in the morning while I was out. I LOVE packages - they make me feel like a kid at christmas, and I especially love packages that weren't expected. I quickly threw the food at the kids and settled down to open my package.

Wow! One Skein Secret Pal - You're the Apple of my eye!

Inside, was a skein of deep green Manos (I've mentioned before how much I love this yarn); a skein of Noro Transitions (again, Noro is a favorite of mine - although am very excited to try out Transitions for the first time); a box of Chocolates (I started testing them right away, not surprisingly); and ... wait for it ... an IPOD Apple. My secret pal sent a note explaining their package and yarn choices, and that they had read on my blog about my troubles with our computer recently, and that they were a die-hard Apple fan, and felt that I should have something Apple. They thought I'd enjoy music to knit to, and knitting podcasts.

Oh ... my ... gosh! What a great pick me up. Now, before I continue, let me state for the record that I am not as some may suspect purely motivated by material items - but let's be honest - yarn and such thoughtful surprises like this are bound to make the most cold hearted of knitters smile.

OSSPal - what can I say? Thank you. I was busy with the kids the rest of the day, but got a few minutes before taking Declan to his soccer game to load the software and take a peak. Unfortunately, it appears that my USB connection blocks the ipod from connecting fully, so I need to run out in the morning and get a USB connector that will work. But that hasn't stopped me from smiling and acting rather giddy, and taking a look at the iTunes Website and marking certain files that I wanted to download such as knitting podcasts, music and some audiobooks.

For a while, I actually forgot about my dr's appointment. I did take pictures of the lovely package and will load them tomorrow (blogger was not cooperating and I can't be buggered with it tonight).

Now, don't be worrying (as knit bloggers are the kind and caring worrying kind) - my dr's appointment wasn't anything too terrible. I have ovarian cysts and need to have a large one removed (I refuse to have the surgery until after stitches and kids go back to school though - my doctor looked confused when I mentioned Stitches - obviously he is not a knitter). But, while I was there he also did a routine exam and as we were happily chatting away and discussing the 30lbs that had been nice enough to drop off my backside the past 3-4 months, he asked me if I had been doing my breast exams lately and if I had noticed anything out of the ordinary. I told him, I had sort of, and no, I hadn't noticed anything weird. He then guided my hand to a lump which is a little smaller than a quarter and asked me if I had felt that before. Now, knitters, I'm not that big in the milk-making department and have always been pretty sure that before I felt a lump there, I would be able to see it. But, how the hell did I miss this lump. He then wanted me to have a mammogram scheduled and an ultrasound the next day. Unfortunately, the kids have things going on Thursday and Friday and I wanted time to process everything (stall), so I scheduled the mammo for Monday and the ultrasound for Wednesday. The weird thing is, is that I'm not really worried - okay, I'm a little nervous, but I'm 95% sure that it is just a fibrous, grizzly lump or fat and nothing to worry about. One of the few illnesses/diseases not listed in my family is breast cancer, so again that makes me feel pretty calm about the whole thing. What bothers me, is the possibility of huge changing depressing info like that - plobbing itself down on my quite lovely life. I'm quite a risk taker (note: I did move to the US when only 19 without even breaking a sweat). But, this makes me uncomfortable. The thought of my families happy little life being shaken up like this is bloody annoying. Again, let me state that I'm 95% sure that this is nothing - really. I did get really ticked off though, because I didn't think to buffer this info from the doctor to Steve (whose mother had a rough bout with breast cancer a couple of years ago). I just blurted it out on the phone and was very blaze (again, not sure if that's the right word) about the whole thing. I scared him. This man is so kind and loving and gives me the world. He tiptoes around my feelings (with the exception of bday cards - read prev blogs for explanation of this comment) and I stupidly was so insensitive to how he may take this. This bothered me, and still does, the most. Here I was, claiming to worry about how my family would feel about this, and then I go and make Steve feel like crap. I know that Steve doesn't read my blog so I won't take the time to publicly apologize here, but am deeply sorry for being such a cow.

Anyway, I'm not going to knit tonight. I want to go snuggle up next to Steve on the couch.

Again, OSSP, thank you for the lovely package. I think I need a chocolate before I settle down on the couch.


yarn whisperer said...

sounds like quite the day! You are right not to worry about something you have so little information about. A few years ago I went for my first mamogram, just routine, and they found a lump.
The radiologist put the fear of God into me, saying it didn't look good, the size, how it appeared on the ultrasound, I was terrified. After 2 weeks of thinking I had a terrible future, it turned out to be a fiberous cyst, they removed it and I have been fine since then. Don't worry as something like 95% of lumps are benign. I wish you all the best and send a little prayer on your behalf.

Marina said...

Me too! Why don't these things happens at more convenient times? Like when the kids have been through college and moved out or something like that ;-)

Will be thinking of you!

Seahorse said...

I'll keep everything crossed for a good outcome re the tests. You're absolutely right not to get in a panic as these things hardly ever ever turn out to be properly nasty!

What a fantastic gift from your secret pal!

Carrie K said...

Ach, you're right, there's no sense worrying about something that's hopefully nothing, but I wouldn't feel too badly about Steve. It is scary, even if it's a long shot and it's hardly your fault he has past bad experiences with it. I'm expressing this badly, but he needs to compartmentalize it, in a way, so that you can still vent to him. Yeah, easier said than done.

Nice Secret Pal!

Marji said...

timing of the secret pal gift was fabulous.
{{{hugs}}}}, don't delay this mammogram if it is going to play havoc with your peace of mind over the weekend. and you're right, it probably is nothing, but better to Know.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you too. It probably is nothing, just make sure to get it checked. You're in my prayers...
Wow, what a great OSSP you have! Just think of the possibilities using your new IPod. It WILL cahnge your life! It changed mine!!
Take care until next time...

cecily said...

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. :)

Jae said...

Oh! I can so relate to how your husband reacted. I have made the same mistake with my hubby. He has been raised in a family that has the market cornered on exaggerated drama. So, a paper cut is worthy of the front page. I feel so bad that, knowing this, I still will blurt something out that gets him worried. Just reassure him (and yourself) that this is probably nothing.

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